WHEN VIPs attend events like product launches or wedding anniversaries, they are seldom unaccompanied. They want to be inside their own social bubble. It’s not just their security team but a coterie of subordinates or friends that they bring along. Otherwise, who can they talk to? Seating assignments are ignored and it’s up to the event planner to adjust — this way please.
Like a dieter who feels he will not find the right food at a party and so carries his own tamarind bag, the VIP brings along his own seatmates. His greatest fear is being stuck in a table of uninteresting people who cannot discuss The Count of Monte Cristo and the theme of sudden wealth and cold-blooded revenge.
Worse, the likelihood of favor seekers asking him to pass the salt and in the same breath seeking employment “in one of your affiliates” is ever present. Can the request for a photo opportunity be far behind? A waiter is summoned, and the VIP must stand up and smile for the snapshot.
The VIP’s table should be filled with acquaintances, if not subordinates who know their place. Anyway, with his many commitments, the VIP can’t stay long enough for the closing speech. He may be coming from a previous event (maybe a planning session) and on his way to a fireworks display. His coterie may have come from either the previous or subsequent event and were not invited to the current one.
What are the requirements for playing the role of hanger-on in a tag team?
Attire is essential. It should conform to the required look, like “smart casual.” Good grooming is mandatory along with the appearance of someone who moves in the same circle, even in a slightly farther orbit. Certain conversation skills are necessary. One of them is listening, and the ability to lean towards the VIP as if trying to catch his witticisms, amidst the ambient noise.
Long verbal exchanges are unlikely. The soliciting of opinions in a give and take that normal conversation entails is remote. Seldom are interruptions and snoopy questions posed — Have you thought of a successor?
The size of the coterie is ideally at least three. Most tables at a big reception go from 10 to 12. Bringing too many for a table of 10 can be offensive as too many other guests are displaced, and maybe additional tables are required, especially if there are many VIPs with their own coteries.
But what if the VIP is assigned to the presidential table? What happens to his dangling earrings? The place of honor is elevated and laid out in a straight line which means that uncertain seat partners only number two, one on each side. Presumably seat mates are other VIPs too, possibly with even a higher status. There are also name cards attached with mechanical stays that are not capable of being removed by hand.
So, if the VIP is assigned a seat with a name card, what happens to his coterie? No problem — the group disperses, and everyone finds his way to free holes in different tables. Hangers-on are not picky about being thrown with strangers. Anyway, they cannot dispense favors even when asked to intercede by some importunate pest. (Do you think he may be interested in a beach property in Pundaquit?)
There is a way to eliminate uninvited guests attached to an invited VIP. Among the invitees are already peers and colleagues that the honored one may feel comfortable with. These may be former classmates who are past the favor-seeking stage, or distant relatives that are equally wealthy, even if not with the same number of zeros in their net worth. The event planner only needs to make sure they’re assigned to the right table.
But this pairing of guests needs to be abreast of the current situation. Bosom buddies of a month ago (like the unity ticket) and even couples together for a long time may have become estranged prior to the event.
In a culture that finds name-dropping socially acceptable, the hazard of table-crashing is ever present. A glowering look just bounces off the intruder posing for another photo op with the VIP. (And now, wacky please.)
Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda
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